Sunday, October 31, 2010

Which One Are You?


            I once had a professor in a psychology class who said there are two types of people in the world: those who take responsibility and those who place blame.  I’ve seen it often in my day-to-day dealings with people, whether it’s in the workplace, in my social circle or within my own family. Lately, while digesting the political news, I’ve been thinking about that professor and what he had to say.
            There is a strident quality to the voices on the right and it rises to nearly unbearable levels when placing all the blame for the sorry situation in which this country finds itself on President Obama and the Democratically controlled Congress. They scream about spending and how it’s going to take us down the road to bankruptcy. Odd, isn’t it, when we heard none of this during the Bush years of profligate spending.  Back then it was okay, even good to deficit spend.  Want to wage war?  Don’t include it in the budget, just ask for emergency funds while holding our military members hostage to the whims of Halliburton, Blackwater and all the war profiteers, including the Profiteers in Chief, Bush and Cheney. Back then, there were no fingers pointed at those who were marching us down the Road to Ruin. The only fingers pointed were at people who were actually possessed of the capacity for reason and they were accused of being unpatriotic cowards.  Those on the Republican side – the Right Wing side – never took responsibility for their actions unless it was for some stupid show like that “Mission Accomplished” debacle.  And then, when it was shown that not only was the mission not accomplished, it was just the beginning of a quagmire in which we are still mired to this day, well, it wasn’t the idea of the White House to hang up that sign.  Oh no. It was the overzealous military, so carried away with their victory.  Never mind that George W. Bush donned a flight suit and strutted across the deck of that aircraft carrier like some bandy rooster with a sock stuck in his crotch.
            Those finger pointers are all over message boards on the Internet as well. They’re deluded people who haven’t a clue about the real world and how it works but are angry and scared. They write what they think are their opinions without realizing that they are simply regurgitating the pap fed to them by people like Sarah Palin, who wouldn’t know a real issue if it bit her in the ass. This woman is now widely accepted as the leader of the Republican party by virtue of the fact that she’s the leader of the Tea Party movement, which, though touted as a grassroots movement, is really a front for monied interests like the Koch Brothers who can buy and sell most of us countless times over and regard us as little more than worker ants to do their bidding.  Sarah Palin, who couldn’t even hack it as governor of Alaska for a full term and told everyone during the ill-fated McCain campaign that Alaska was the largest state in the union.  Okay, maybe in square miles but Alaska has a population smaller than New Hampshire. And this woman is regarded as someone with a brain and to some, the capacity to lead this country.  Heaven forbid!
            So here’s my point.  It’s time to decide which kind of person you are.  Are you a finger pointer or are you one who takes responsibility? I hope it’s the latter and that you have voted and your vote was to continue to repair the damage done by the crazy element that has become so vocal. If you haven’t yet cast your vote, I implore you to make the time in your day on November 2 to go to your polling place and vote against taking us back down that Road to Ruin.  We’ve just begun and the way ahead won’t be easy but it isn’t impossible. We just need to stay on target, remember how we got into this mess, remember why we voted for change and to stop acting like impatient children who want it all yesterday. We need to take the reins of responsibility, turn our backs to those who are laying blame and do the hard work necessary to return our country to the bright beacon it has always been to the world, to the land of opportunity for us and for our children.
            I’m just saying…

Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Little Pink Book That’s Terrifying Parents Everywhere!




             Who would have thought an idea that took root in my garage would turn into such an unexpected journey into the psyche of American attitudes towards the loss of virginity?
            It all started when my daughter made a simple remark: Wouldn’t it be interesting to see a documentary about how people lost their virginity? I thought about it for a moment, then countered: I think it would be better as a book. My reason was pretty straightforward.  I didn’t think someone sitting in front of a camera would tell the truth, or at least the entire truth. The more I thought about it, the more exciting her idea became and I told her if she didn’t write it, then I would.  In the end, we wound up collaborating on the project. 
            The Virgin Diaries is a compilation of seventy-two stories from men women across the country. The accounts are evenly divided by gender and the respondents range in age from twenty to seventy-seven. Six stories from gay individuals are included and they are also divided evenly according to gender.
            Initially we expected to market the book to teens and further consideration led us to think that parents of teens and preteens would be a prime demographic as well, perhaps even more than their children. After all, our book is a Print On Demand, so it isn’t available off the shelf in bookstores, rather it has to be ordered, either online or at a store.  Since not many teens have access to credit cards, it’s a difficult purchase to make.  But surely, parents would be interested in providing necessary information to their children regarding sex, particularly in light of the fact that sex is all around us in today’s society. Secure in the knowledge that we were about to help parents everywhere educate their kids about what it’s really like to lose one’s virginity, we went in search of radio interviews, we launched a web page, created a Facebook Page, got a local bookstore chain to carry our book, set up signing events and reserved a booth at the local county book festival. 
            At this point I have to tell you that sitting at a table behind a stack of books with the word VIRGIN emblazoned on the cover is an illuminating experience.  It certainly sharpened my learning curve. We learned that 1) teenagers avoided us 2) parents actually cut a wide swath as soon as they saw the title of the book 3) preteens weren’t embarrassed about showing interest, but only when their parents weren’t in the vicinity and 4) most surprising of all, Baby Boomers love the book.  
            I think the reason teens avoided us is simple. They don’t want to appear to be interested because they’re – well, they’re teenagers and teenagers like to project that they know everything. Or they may be embarrassed to act interested in front of an adult.  Parents, on the other hand, really surprised us but on further consideration, I think perhaps they’re too close to the situation.  After all, it’s their sons or daughters – particularly their daughters – and parents don’t want to think of their child as on the cusp of becoming a sexual being.  It was almost comical at times, seeing the panicked look that crossed their faces and watching them do everything other than slap a blindfold on the kids they were with. As for the preteens, there is one boy in particular who stands out.  He was about eleven and he noticed our booth at the book fair. An almost glazed look came over his face and he seemed drawn to our booth, where he picked up the book and held it in his hands, literally cradled it. He was maybe three or four feet away from us but to him we didn’t exist. His entire attention was on that book and it was obvious he wanted it so badly. Then his mother called to him and it was if he’d been struck by lightning. He hastily put the book down and walked away, his head down, disappointment trailing behind him. My daughter wanted so much to grab a copy, run after him and give it to him for free but, of course, we couldn’t do that for a variety of reasons. Our biggest surprise was that Baby Boomers would almost always stop to talk to us about the book and on several occasions purchased one or more copies for their grandchildren. I think it’s because they have less fear of the subject, maybe because they don’t have to live in the same house as the teen or preteen and be subject to the questions that might follow. Being a Boomer myself, I choose to believe that my generation just has a bit more common sense when it comes to teens and sex.
            One other surprise has been the number of men who like the book.  In fact, if you take a look at the reviews on Amazon.com and our web page, you’ll see that most of the reviews are written by men.
            I don’t want to give the impression that all parents avoided us like the plague.  We’ve had great feedback from people all over the country who have given the book to their kids to read. We’ve even used some of their comments on our web page.  One of my favorites is: It’s a book about sex that isn’t about sex at all. One woman who is the mother of five told us that her fourteen-year-old son, who isn’t usually a reader, became engrossed in the book and read it cover to cover.  Her eleven-year-old daughter read it as well and was shocked to find that a girl of twelve had lost her virginity. That opened a dialogue between mother and daughter that would never have taken place if it hadn’t been for that particular story.  Parents who have given the book to their kids have all reported that it has been a positive experience in a variety of ways. Like so many people in the book, they tell us they wish they’d had a book like this when they were young and wondering what it was all about.
            To those terrified parents out there, I say this: You make sure your child is prepared for the SATs. You make certain they take Driver’s Education classes. You want the best for your children. You’d like them to remain abstinent until marriage but you also know that isn’t always a realistic goal. This book isn’t anti-abstinence. It is pro-information and in today’s world of sex on TV, on the Internet, on magazine covers at the grocery store, in music lyrics, our children are exposed to sexual messages on a daily basis. It’s the rare parent who feels comfortable sitting down to have “the talk” but it’s a talk that should be had. The Virgin Diaries is a great way to begin that talk because you don’t have to say a word.  Just leave the book there for your son or daughter to pick up and read. They will read it because they are interested.  You’ll be surprised how easy the conversation that follows will be.  And if you think your child isn’t interested in sex, take a moment to remember how you were at that age.
            To all you grandparents out there, Christmas is just around the corner!

I'm just saying...

To learn more about The Virgin Diaries and read two of the stories, visit our web site. 
http://arkstories.com/thevirgindiaries.html

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Saturday, October 16, 2010

America the Beautiful?


It’s election season and the rhetoric is flying fast and furious. Most of it is just a lot of noise with real issues taking a back seat to slogans, lies and innuendo. Politics as usual, right? But we are living in unusual times, so it is our duty as citizens to cut through all the noise and at least attempt to discern what’s really happening and how it will affect us. And then we must go to the polls or fill out our mail-in ballots and do everything we can to get this country on track. But first, we need to see the tracks and where they lead.

For nearly two decades now, we have suffered severe fractures in our civil discourse and those fractures have grown steadily worse. So much so that we have come to a point where we have candidates for major offices who advocate taking up arms against the government if things don’t go the way they want. I’m talking about Sharron Angle in Nevada. This is a woman who believes that fluoride is a Communist plot, who wants to abolish the Department of Education, privatize Social Security and get rid of any social safety nets we have in place. Her supporters vociferously defend her while lining up to sign up for the Social Security and Medicare benefits that she wants to abolish, while the children of Nevada receive the worst educations in all of the fifty states, putting them on a lifelong road to nowhere. Then there’s Richard Iott, Republican candidate for Ohio’s 9th congressional seat. For fun and a bonding experience with his son, he dresses up like a Nazi SS officer and re-enacts WWII scenarios. He claims it’s just a historical interest in the second World War but you’ve got to ask yourself: Why the SS? He couldn’t have re-enacted Allied activities? There’s Carl Paladino, running for governor of the great state of New York. Carl likes to send out racist emails depicting the President of the United States of America and the First Lady as a pimp and his ho. He actually circulated a video of a woman having sexual congress with a horse and shrugs it off as the result of his being in the construction trade, so what’s the big deal? Meg Whitman, running for governor of California, never even bothered to register to vote until 2002 and now she thinks she’s qualified to run a state. Her television ads are flat out lies regarding Jerry Brown. I moved to California when Brown was governor and I know how it was. The state had a surplus, it was well run and people liked Brown enough to vote him in for two terms. Whitman has made a big political stink about illegals and then we found out that she had an illegal working for her – and she knew the woman wasn’t legal – for nine years. So Meg turns around and tries to blame Jerry Brown when it all came out on the news. Whitman tries to make voters think that she’ll be able to do something about the ridiculous mess we have in Sacramento by telling people she’ll propose that if the budget isn’t passed on time, those lawmakers won’t get paid. Gee, sounds great. But it’s just a PROPOSAL. In other words: empty words. If you want action, there’s Proposition 25 on the ballot, which provides for a simple majority to pass a budget vs. a 2/3 vote and if the budget isn’t passed on time, the legislators will permanently forfeit salary and reimbursement for expenses for every day until the budget is passed. And by the way, Whitman DIDN’T propose that proposition. Then there’s Christine O’Donnell, who though she seems like a nice enough woman, doesn’t have a clue about what’s going on in the world or any idea of how to be effective except to tell people they shouldn’t masturbate, that China has inserted functioning human brains into mice and that she isn’t a witch. We have a Supreme Court that made it possible for foreign corporations to insert money into our electoral process. No matter which side of the political spectrum you’re on, I think it’s safe to say none of us want Dubai or China or any other country, friend or foe, to have a say in who runs our government. 

There are people in this country who don’t believe that separation of church and state was a founding principle. That concept is intrinsic in the First Amendment of our Constitution where it states Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof… There are people who don’t “believe in” global warming as if it were a ghost or some nebulous idea. They choose to ignore the preponderance of scientific data in favor of a tiny percentage of scientists who tow the Right Wing line that climate change isn’t a threat nor is it caused by human activity. There are people who think that humans and dinosaurs walked the earth at the same time and they think that science and God are diametrically opposed, although I’ll bet a lot of them wouldn’t know the meaning of the word diametrically. 

Here’s what I think. I think we’re in trouble. I think the educational system in this country has failed us to such a degree that people are no longer able to think and to assimilate information. I think it’s all been planned by those who would return us to a feudal system. People like the Koch brothers, who have more money than God and they don’t want to share a penny of it with the rabble. The rabble in this case would be you and me. They pour money into dumbing down the culture so people will rant and rave against their own best interests. Why on earth would people demonstrate FOR health insurance companies that have raised their premiums, refused to insure them, withheld treatments because they were too expensive and then, when they were needed the most in the case of catastrophic illness, drop those who have faithfully paid those inflated premiums over the years? Why would people get indignant when the President of the United States tells BP Oil that it will have to pay for the mess it made in our waters and on our land? Why? Because education has been cut in favor of tax cuts for the rich, so people are easily fooled. Because our jobs have been shipped overseas to workers who work for pennies on the dollar of what an American worker USED to earn and now the unemployed are afraid for their futures. They’ve lost their homes to predatory lenders while the rich have profited from their losses. So they’re scared, which makes them easy to manipulate. Because they feel powerless, it’s a simple task to incite their hatreds: of gays, of people with brown skin, of people who practice the wrong religion, of a black president.

Think about it. The rich have theirs. And they have yours as well and they’re taking more of it every day. They have the best medical care money can buy and they’ve got plenty of money. They don’t care if you drop dead because there are plenty where you came from. They get on their high horses and preach against abortion but they also want to take away birth control. Think about it. If they do that, there will always be people to exploit even if the average life expectancy goes down. Because people will continue to have sex and continue to procreate, providing a never-ending stream of workers (perhaps serfs?) to collect the trash and work in the hotels and restaurants and provide the services that only the rich will be able to afford. Think Charles Dickens and A Christmas Carol and you’ll start to get the picture. If you’re not aware of it, that story was a political statement for the times, as was The Jungle by Upton Sinclair a political statement regarding the plight of a family of Lithuanian immigrants working in the Chicago meat packing industry at the turn of the last century. When you hear candidates on the Right talking about how they’d like to return to the way it used to be, take some time to actually find out how it used to be. It wasn’t so great. In fact, it was downright terrible for the working class in this country. 

There is a movement afoot – a very covert movement cloaked as a populist uprising – to turn back the clock in this country and return us to the days of the robber barons. They would have you believe that Socialism and Communism are synonymous. But they aren’t. I’m not advocating a full out Socialist Republic. I firmly believe that Capitalism is an engine that drives innovation and is what has made this country great. But I also believe – no, I KNOW – that we can have a healthy capitalist economy AND a social conscience. The two are not mutually exclusive. We can have an educational system that actually educates, a health care system that actually makes people healthy, regulatory systems that rein in the abuses that brought us to the brink of financial disaster and achieve a booming economy at the same time. But we all have to contribute and if you’re one of the fortunate few who are wealthy, you can afford to contribute a puny three percent more of anything you earn over $250,000. It won’t shut down factories. It won’t send anyone to the poor house and it won’t cause the collapse of American society. It will, however, put an infusion of money into our badly damaged economy and help to drag us out of the mess that resulted from gross fiscal irresponsibility. As for adding to the deficit, remember that old saw: You’ve got to spend money to make money. Why was it okay to run a deficit during the Bush years – Cheney sneered at everyone that deficits were actually good – but now, when we need so badly to spend in order to dig ourselves out of this hole, all of a sudden it’s verboten? 

When did we forget that our government was set up to be BY, FOR and OF the PEOPLE and not corporations? Instead of complaining about the government, take the reins and remember that your ballot counts. Stop listening to the poison spewed by the lackeys of those whose only motive is the profit motive and think about what is best for the average everyday American: Security in our homes, in our ability to find meaningful work, to put something aside for our children, to know that if we get sick we won’t lose everything, that when we get old we won’t be dumpster diving for our dinners. We ARE our brother’s keeper and on a societal level, that means we must all pitch in for the good of the whole. Because when the whole is healthy, so is the one.

I have heard we can’t afford to change over to a green economy. We can’t afford to invest in infrastructure. We can’t afford to make certain our citizens have universal access to health care. We can’t afford to insure a dignified old age. We can’t afford to raise taxes on the rich. The list of things we can’t afford is long when one talks to the Right.

My list is short. We can’t afford to do nothing. We can’t afford to go back to the same policies that brought us to where we are now.

We must go forward. So when you cast your ballot, ask yourself what kind of America do you want to live in? Where fear, vitriol and hatred holds sway or one where we all work together to make the greatest experiment the world has ever seen grow better and stronger every day? It’s our country. It’s our choice. It’s your vote. Use it well and use it wisely. 

I’m just saying…